Widow of Oklahoma Army veteran denied VA headstone, still seeking answers more than a year after his death

More than a year after the sudden death of her husband, an Oklahoma Army veteran, Desiree Troester is still fighting to secure the military headstone she says he earned through his service.

Widow's fight for benefits

Ryan Troester, a father of three and Army veteran who served two tours in Iraq, died in a workplace accident in January 2024. Since then, his widow has struggled to get his veterans’ burial benefits through the Department of Veterans Affairs, including the government-provided headstone traditionally offered to those who served.

“He was a great dad, awesome dad, great husband,” Desiree said. “He would do anything for anybody.”

Benefits denied

Ryan served in the U.S. Army for eight years before being honorably discharged in 2014. Though he had returned to civilian life, his service and sacrifice were a source of pride for the Troester family. His wife says he made it clear he wanted a veteran’s headstone.

But according to Desiree, the VA denied the request because Ryan did not die in a VA hospital, and his death certificate does not list his military medical history.

“He had the Army Commendation Medal, two tours in Iraq, and they just tell me, ‘Oh, since his burial service is denied, so is his headstone,’” she said.

While she waits for answers, Desiree has created a temporary memorial for his gravesite.

“But the headstone? That’s something he needs. He earned that. That’s his right,” she said.

The financial burden has added to her grief. She is still paying off the cost of the funeral and says she never expected to pay for a headstone out of pocket, not after her husband’s military service.

“Everything fell apart when he left,” Desiree said. “This man put his life on the line for our country, and I want them to see that. I want our kids to see that. I just want answers.”

What's next?

News On 6 has reached out to the Oklahoma Department of Veterans Affairs and was able to connect Troester’s widow to someone who can help. We are still waiting to learn if Troester will receive the headstone he’d hoped for.