Navigating Family Ties and New Friendships: A Guiding Perspective

As young adults transition into new phases of life, they often grapple with the emotional complexity of balancing longstanding family traditions and emerging friendships. Dr. Brenda Lloyd-Jones from the University of Oklahoma gives her advice on how to manage those relationships.

Thursday, May 15th 2025, 4:54 pm

By: David Prock

It's Therapy Thursday, and Dr. Brenda Lloyd-Jones from the University of Oklahoma is back to address your questions.

This week, Sara asks for advice about balancing cherished family traditions with the pull of new friendships.

"Every summer since high school, it's been me and my widowed grandma, exploring historic spots and cool places - it's our thing. But now my first year of college is done, and my amazing new friends want to hang out all summer. I feel so guilty even thinking about not being with her. What do I do?

Make Space for Growth and Gratitude

Dr. Brenda says this is a common and understandable dilemma for young adults navigating new chapters.

"I commend Sarah for being emotionally intelligent. You know, rather than really defaulting to 'all or none' thinking, she'll want to engage in layered thinking, both and. For example, this will allow her to have emotional balance as well as a clear conscience," said Dr. Brenda.

Rather than choosing one relationship over the other, Dr. Brenda encourages Sara to think creatively about how she can foster both relationships.

"Spending time at the beginning or end of the summer with her grandmother, having meaningful quality time. Who better would understand that she has gained additional social capital, and she's interested in gaining and certainly nurturing those friendships.

If Sara decides to do something different this summer, Lloyd-Jones recommends she have a heartfelt conversation with her grandmother.