Fostering Oklahoma: Addressing the urgent need for more foster families

The Need

About 5,800 children are in Oklahoma’s foster care system. The state needs 700 additional foster families.

Becoming a Foster Family

Before a family can accept foster children, the Department of Human Services will perform an extensive background check and a home inspection. Case workers may make recommendations like child-proofing a home with baby gates and safety locks. They will check for working smoke detectors and fire extinguishers. Families must complete 27 courses, covering topics including protecting and nurturing a child who has been through trauma. DHS employees or tribal foster care experts can guide families through the process.

Related: Oklahoma needs foster families. Here's how you can help.

Emergency and Respite Care

Not all care requires a long-term commitment. The Department of Human Services also needs emergency or respite care.

Emergency care could be just a night or two, until a child in a crisis can be placed with a relative, family friend or foster family.

Respite care could last for just a weekend, to give foster parents a break. Respite care can help if foster parents need to go out of town for a wedding, a funeral or a family emergency.

The training required for respite and emergency care is the same as long-term foster care.

Indian Child Welfare Act

Under the Indian Child Welfare Act, Native American children in foster care must be placed with tribal families. This helps children maintain a connection to tribal and cultural traditions. It also means it can be harder to place Native American children if more tribal families don't go through the certification process to become foster families.

One Family’s Story

The Wesley home in Caddo is filled with love, and rarely a dull moment.

Shelden and Tayla Wesley began fostering children a few years ago. When their first two foster children left, sisters Sage and Aspen entered their lives.

“Literally the next day, we got a call about two little girls,” Tayla Wesley said.

The Wesleys didn’t just foster the girls—they adopted them.

“We weren’t looking at adoption. It kind of just happened,” Tayla said. “And things happen for a reason.”

Looking back, the couple says it was the best decision they ever made.

Even after adopting Sage and Aspen, the Wesleys continued fostering children.

“A lot of these kids come from rough backgrounds,” Shelden Wesley said. “I think it’s good for them to see there’s another way to live life.”

Tribal Connection

Their dedication to fostering led the Choctaw Nation to recognize the Wesleys as its Tribal Resource Family of the Year. The couple said they spent a long time discussing fostering before deciding to take the leap.

Robert Whitfield, a foster recruiter and trainer for the Choctaw Nation, understands that fostering isn’t always easy.

“Foster care can be very challenging,” Whitfield said. “But anything that’s worthwhile at times is challenging.”

Both the Choctaw Nation and the state of Oklahoma need more foster families to meet the growing demand. Whitfield said many people are quick to help in an emergency, but don’t realize there’s an ongoing crisis for children in need.

“Behind the scenes, we have all of these children that go unseen, and they need just as urgent a response,” he said.

The need is urgent, he said, because children in foster care need a place where they feel safe, secure, valued and loved.

“I think personally, it’s very satisfying to know that you’ve contributed to something larger than yourself,” Whitfield said.

More Than Fostering

For the Wesleys, fostering has become a calling.

“Loving, fun, rewarding,” they said.

They encourage others to consider fostering and take time to reflect on the decision.

“Even if it’s one kid, you’re changing their life and giving them a chance,” Tayla Wesley said.

And Whitfield offers one final thought: “If not you, then who?”