“This time I wanted to be here for it.” Lynne Gist honors her sister 30 years since she was killed in the bombing alongside hundreds of others at First Church

The line to get into First Church in Oklahoma City began around 6:30 on Saturday morning and a sea of umbrellas began to cover the stairs. 

This wait is both familiar and foresight for Lynne Gist, who’s been to ceremonies to remember the bombing victims before, but each year is so different. 

“You know, I was just kind of numb to this for the longest time,” Gist said about the weeks leading up to this day. “And then finally yesterday or the day before it just kind of was creeping in a little more.” 

That creeping feeling of grief. 

“It was my youngest sister, Karen,” said Gist. 

As she waited in line, she told her friends who came with her for the first time about the flowers she held. 

“So the white one is her and the other four are the rest of us,” Gist explains. 

“You had 5? There’s 5 of you girls? I thought there was 4,” said her friend. 

“There’s  5,” said Gist. “Well there’s 4 now.” 

Gist’s little sister died at the Federal building when it was bombed 30 years ago. 

“Yeah this is the back side of the site,” said Gist pointing across the street to what remains of the building and the memorial she helped design.

Gist can still remember the exact feeling she had on this day 30 years ago. 

“I remember hearing about it and being swept from the tip of my head down to my toes, and I knew I was being given grace. I didn't know what it was for. But I knew that that's that’s what was happening. And, so that's helped me to continue to be able to deal with this,” she said. 

Each day since, Gist has stepped toward a different kind of grief. One where she’s helped change laws, and hopes for a better future. 

“I think most things are born out of people feeling rejected and on the fringes,” she said. “And I think just learning to, draw people in and accept them, welcome them, I think, that that's probably one thing that could prevent a lot of crimes like this. Violent crimes.”

The line Gist stands in ends inside First Church where all 168 people killed are honored. 

“This time I wanted to be here for it,” Gist tells her friends. 

“And we wanted to be here for you.” 

“Thank you that means a lot,” she said as they hug before continuing to walk into the church.