‘It takes your breath away’: Rescuer reflects on Oklahoma City Bombing aftermath

Remembering April 19, 1995

As people gather for the 30th anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing, it is a time to remember those who died and to honor those who helped in the rescue and recovery.

As soon as word spread about the attack, first responders from across the state rushed to Oklahoma City, including 10 members of the Tulsa Fire Department.

Retired Fire Capt. Dannie Caldwell spoke about what he witnessed and the emotional weight it still carries.

A Scene That Defies Words

"It’s one of those things you can take it in when you see it with your eyes... but video and pictures don't cover it," said Caldwell, who worked in the rubble of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building. "It just takes your breath away."

He vividly remembers the silent moment he and his team first stood before the devastation.

"I was watching the guys that were with me, and we were just standing there looking at it, and it was real quiet. A bunch of them were crying, and it was just really overwhelming."

A Memory That Doesn’t Fade

For Caldwell, the emotional toll didn’t end after the rescue efforts stopped.

"It's one of the few things, other than the birth of my child and marriage, that’s stuck with me my whole life,” he said. “It’s one of those things I’ll talk about it but I’d rather not. I haven’t been back to the memorial. I don’t have any plans to go. My whole family’s been. I’ve driven past it, I teach up there all the time, but I haven’t been back."

A Personal Memorial

Instead of returning to the site, Caldwell created his own memorial to honor the victims and remember the experience in his own way.

"This is the stuff we got down there. The ribbons were made by the family members, and the little angels and stuff like that — those were given to us by the family."

Families Waiting and Hoping

Among the hardest moments, he said, were the interactions with victims’ families.

"The thing that hurt the most is when we would come out, the families were lined up and down the streets, giving us little ribbons and whatnot, and they’d say, 'Do you think there’s any hope?' In our minds, we knew no, but you can’t rip that from somebody… well, there’s always hope."

Rescue Efforts Cut Short

Despite his team’s work, Caldwell said they never rescued anyone alive.

"We got it down, I forget, finally how many were left, and we couldn’t do any more digging because of the pillars, and they were afraid the building would fall on the rescuers," he said. "So that’s when they imploded it, and that was another — you know, because we worked so hard to get everybody out and be respectful — and then when they had to implode it, what was going through my mind was there’s still people in there."

The Toll on First Responders

After four days on-site, Caldwell returned home with memories that have never faded.

"It’s a job. We got to do it," he said. "And much like your job, you’re going to see things and talk to people and you have to carry that. But don’t let anybody tell you that they’re tough and it doesn’t bother them. They’re lying. I’m telling you they’re lying. If something like that doesn’t bother them, they don’t have a soul."

Passing It On

Caldwell said Tulsa firefighters today are far better trained to deal with large-scale tragedies.

He now spends his time training first responders in confined space rescue and structural collapse scenarios because, he said, it’s important to be ready, just in case something like that ever happens again.