Therapy Thursday: Tips for teens supporting friends with anxiety

A Tulsa mom wrote in with a back-to-school parenting concern: how can her high school daughter support a friend who experiences anxiety attacks without overstepping? On this week’s Therapy Thursday, Dr. Brenda Lloyd-Jones from the University of Oklahoma offered practical advice.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

Dr. Lloyd-Jones said the first step is for parents to commend their teens for being good listeners and supportive friends. But she cautioned against taking on too much responsibility.

“This is an ideal time for Paige to communicate with her daughter about establishing boundaries,” she explained. Teens are not therapists, she said, and shouldn’t feel obligated to take on that role.

Giving Teens the Right Language

Dr. Lloyd-Jones suggested parents equip their children with simple, compassionate language they can use when talking with friends experiencing anxiety.

Examples might include:

1. “I am here for you.”
2. “This sounds tough.”
3. “Perhaps you want to speak with the school counselor or your parents.”

These phrases show care while gently guiding peers toward professional help.

Monitoring Emotional Well-Being

Along with supporting her daughter’s friendships, Dr. Lloyd-Jones said the mom should also monitor her child’s own mental health.

“It’s great to be a supportive friend, but it’s also important to set up personal rail guards so that you can flourish and thrive,” she said.