Money worries before marriage: Dr. Brenda Lloyd-Jones offers advice for couples facing financial stress

Planning a wedding can be stressful, but financial strain can make it even harder. On this week’s Therapy Thursday, University of Oklahoma’s Dr. Brenda Lloyd-Jones answered a viewer’s question about whether to postpone a wedding because of money concerns.

Q: My fiancé and I plan to marry this fall. After losing our jobs and accepting lower-paying ones, I'm considering postponing until my income improves, while my fiancé wants to proceed. How can we navigate this?

A: “Worry over money is one of the top stressors of marriages, according to consistent studies,” Dr. Brenda said. Her first recommendation is to create a budget together. “Look at how much you earn and how much you spend so you can have a concrete, tangible view of what the money situation looks like. There’s nothing like having it on paper or on your tablet as opposed to in your thoughts.”

Communication is Key

Dr. Brenda said that effective communication is one of the strongest predictors of a successful and fulfilling marriage. She encouraged the couple to talk about their hopes, fears, and concerns — and to get to the root of the hesitation.

“What is the bottom line? Why is this hesitancy? Is it because of money or is it because of something else? And be open, be honest and be transparent,” she said.

Q: What’s the bottom line for couples in this situation?

Dr. Brenda says the key is combining a clear financial plan with honest conversations. “They can navigate this if they combine these two factors. Their finances, look at that, and then have that heart-to-heart,” she said.

Whether they choose to wait or proceed with the wedding, Dr. Brenda stressed that, “Communication is key. You don’t have to have a wedding to be married.”