'The greatest love letter you'll ever write:' Tulsa man helps parents write lasting letters to their children

For many, putting feelings into words isn’t easy, but one Tulsa man is on a mission to help a million parents do just that. Blake Brewer started the Legacy Letter Challenge five years ago. He calls it the greatest love letter a parent will ever write, something he knows firsthand. 

A Father's Love

The Legacy Letter challenge may have started in 2020, but for Brewer, it dates back to when he was in college. "I was 19 years old; we went on a family vacation to Hawaii and the first day that we were there, my dad and I were out snorkeling," Brewer said.

His father drowned on that same outing. That evening, Brewer received a letter from his father, little did he know those would be the final words he'd receive from him.

"I began to read that letter, and it was just everything I needed in that moment. A sense of peace came over me, I felt hope, and then I just felt incredibly loved, like do not tell me my dad didn't love me," he said.

20 years later, that letter is still leaving an impact on Brewer, especially since he's now a father of four. 

Nothing Left Unsaid

Since receiving the letter from his father, Brewer has written letters to his children and wants to help other parents write similar letters to their children, leaving nothing left unsaid. 

"I want them to know that I'm proud of them, not for what they've done but really proud of them for who they are, and so really keying in on some of those character traits that I want to affirm and say hey that's really good keep growing in that, that's a good thing," he said.

He has also expanded that mission to help other parents around the country write similar letters to their children, making sure nothing is left unsaid. "Your letter matters, your family matters, and the ripple effects of this letter that you're writing you don't even know it," Brewer said. "There's people that have not even been born yet in your family that are going to be impacted by your letter."

Fathers like Andrew Boyd have accepted the challenge and say it has changed the relationships he has with his children, "I found out that she has gone back and reread it regularly, and that it has caused her to make certain decisions or change certain behaviors based on what she read in that letter."

He says it's also changed the way he looks at being a father, "forced me to stop and really ponder what are the things that I want my daughter to hear from me, and then two through the process to helped me take it from my head and get it down on paper as something that my daughter can read again and again as time passes."

Keeping a Legacy Alive

Brewer travels around the country speaking at conferences and workshops to help other parents learn to write their own letters. While he may no longer have his dad with him, he says this challenge helps to keep his legacy alive.

"Pretty cool thing like my dad had no idea when he wrote his letter the impact it would have on me, and that because of his letter now all these other people are writing their legacy letter and I'm getting to help them do it," Brewer said. 

Start Writing Your Own Letter

More information about the Legacy Letter Challenge can be found at LegacyLetter.com.

There's a free toolkit for people to download to start working on their own letters.